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Old Ghost

by Renata Zeiguer

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1.
Wayside 02:59
enough is enough, feeling wayside, enough is enough, i know it you've got a grip on salvation, a heavenly whip, i know it, know it, know it oh i know, i know, i know it's not true, no it's not true oh i know, i know, i know it's not true the way that you talk tender leader, herding the flock, i know it the egg's gonna break, call a doctor, it can't go to waste i know it know it know it… oh i know, i know, i know it's not true, no it's not true oh i know, i know, i know it's not true, no it's not true oh i know, i know, i know it's not true, no it's not true oh i know, i know, i know it's not true
2.
Bug 02:58
the house is falling down we're sinking underground and all the world is above far away, for today you're burrowing in dirty mounds with insect eyes you crawl around there's something on your skin closing in please don't go undertow to the basement decompose winter rose, spring is waiting the old results are in your face is looking grim and deep inside there's a safe little orbit in space a lonely ranger astronaut you used to swim before you caught the undercurrent drift to the bay please don't go, undertow, to the basement winter rose, decompose, spring is waiting please don't go, undertow, to the basement winter rose, decompose, spring is waiting
3.
Below 03:28
eyes open wide, i can't see, just give me your hand i can't breathe, doubling the hydrogen, sky above, or floor below no don't go backward or fast forward keeps my arms still I'll be surfacing, surfacing in no time back, back to where it begins, we learned to swim same mistake, made on the shore, running round, nowhere to go no don't go backward no don't fast forward can't i hold still I'd be surfacing, surfacing in no time no don't go backward, or fast forward keep my arms still, I'll be surfacing, surfacing in no time no don't go backward, or fast forward keep my arms still, I'll be surfacing, surfacing in no time
4.
After All 03:23
picture that and tag me in I want them all to know how you held your silverware your face was all aglow counting all the affirmation helps to make it grow waving from the cloud my body knows it's not alone everyone is home saving all our time doing fine but it's all in my head paranoia dream, apple of my eye and it's all in my head after all, after all always on the run, circling the sun and it's all in my head after all, after all, after all part of me is disappearing, losing some control eyes are inside out again they're better off how you held your arms around my arms could not have known circling the sun, undone before the present goes keep me on my toes sleeping on your side next to mine but it's all in my head paranoia dream, apple of my eye and it's all in my head after all, after all ahhh after all ahhh after all etc
5.
Dreambone 03:37
when the sun goes down, that they've turned around comes a hankering, keeps them shaking in their knees big umbrella eyes, watching for the storm they can't disguise, what they're longing for hunting for the bone, make-believing home in the alleyway, there's an open door where the sleepers stay, keeping everyone at bay they've crystallized, losing track of time they're aching for, a way to close the door hunting for the bone, make-believing home,  they'll learn to live alone special guarantee, safe for the moment so gracefully, hysterically free now they're running fast, with the goods in hand grinning carefully, think they understand sifting through the mud, running through the rain they won't die out, too hungry and insane hunting for the bone, make-believing home,  they'll learn to live alone special guarantee, safe for the moment so gracefully, hysterically free safe for the moment so gracefully,  and I can barely breathe, drowning a space that will never fill, the flood is in my dreams and I can barely breathe, safe for the moment so gracefully, hysterically free
6.
how can I keep you from, how can I keep you from following, where I go, as I go? steadily slithering, slowly but patiently swallowing me whole going down at a friendly pace, go go go! deathly close but I move with grace so far behind - I don't mind there's no place I'd rather be I'd gladly bathe in your shadow I'll chase invisible, virtual, disguised, my dreams are rituals, I pray for the day when you'll follow me down… follow me down, follow me down, follow me down, down to… how can I keep myself from making decisions when I don't have any clue without you? open my window and believe the sky, taking back rituals realized can get old always running from outer space, go go go!, turning down a familiar face, i know it's wrong to keep on there's no place I'd rather be I'd gladly bathe in your shadow I'll chase invisible, virtual, disguised, my dreams residual, I pray for the day when you'll follow me down… follow me down, follow me down, (down, down) follow me down, follow me down, (down, down) follow me down, follow me down, (down, down) follow me down, follow me down, (down, down)
7.
she said "Francis, I am, I am dead from now on,
but i will live as long as the cloud stays in front of the moon"
and i looked up and saw, saw the black ship
like a great wolf after the neck of the moon… down inside the woods, where i saw the light
in the country, in the country… where my dreams are like bark peeled by lightning
i was with her, with the girl while the wolf had the moon by the throat and the whistling swans in their ceremonies
the passing bell nods like a snake charm
and the wolf had the moon by the throat… she is standing there in the wind and the cantatas of the moonlight… well i'm riding the mule, mule to nowhere
then after a while, it's a pony, and then it's a horse
and the wolf had the moon by the throat and they suddenly (all the creatures i've heard in the dark all my life)
were like, were like rustlings of the devil
and they suddenly, were like, were like rustlings of the devil
8.
waiting, she is waiting carelessly debating she feels like she's swimming in the ice going, they are growing seedlings, they'll be shouting one day, they'll be turning in the wind drain my oceans dry, i always smile growing paralyzed, i always smile, always smile, always smile waking, she is waking moonlight comes in phases ages, they are aging, embrace hands are only keeping track of summer dreaming seasons are deleting, then you die tyger burning bright, i always smile growing paralyzed, i always smile arrows in the tide, i always, always smile, always smile
9.
a cloud is hovering, standing permanently still
old ghost that i can't kill unfolds a phantom limb to brush against my skin
draws something from within who's only dissipating over time i have this feeling that i'm never gonna lose
old voice repeating all the things i can't undo
things i can't undo, things i can't undo every evening traces fingers up my spine
no changes to unwind the roots have knotted, wrap me round and grip me tight
choke choking in the night and all relief impossible to find
and all you need is just a little time and i have this feeling that i'm never gonna lose
old voice repeating all the things i can't undo
man on the ceiling is he ever gonna move
i have this feeling that i'm never gonna lose
never gonna lose
never gonna lose
never gonna lose

about

Renata Zeiguer's debut album Old Ghost is the sound of someone finding and losing herself in the endless dance of fear and forgiveness. Renata is a composer, her songs deep and complex. With secretly wise melodic constructions, she tempts the listener toward forbidden insights, resurrecting her childhood fascination with classical and jazz music. The ghosts of Ravel, Debussy, and Gershwin run through her veins, whirling with Billie Holiday, Os Mutantes, The Pixies, Yo La Tengo and The Beatles. She grew up in two worlds: Riverdale, New York, near the Bronx, and Buenos Aires, the land of her father, torn between the clear expectations of piano lessons in Yonkers, and the Dionysian passions of Argentine tango. Possessed by musical inquiry, she moved to New York City, performing and recording throughout her 20s with bands Landlady, Cassandra Jenkins, Mr. Twin Sister, Relatives, Ava Luna, Widowspeak, Mutual Benefit, Christopher Burke, and Quilt, while spilling her own haunted refrains in lonely Brooklyn apartments. Her music is stained with the brutality of battling oneself, and yet the pulse of love echoes throughout like a mystical wind.

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released February 23, 2018

All songs by Renata Zeiguer.

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Renata Zeiguer New York

Contact Renata:
renatazeiguer@gmail.com

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